Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
