He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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