woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
