You're so nebulous sometimes
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
