Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
