We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
