Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We're like a lot better than the average bears
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
