Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
