erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
