I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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