He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
