I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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