with your own penis?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
