I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
