Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
