My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
