if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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