If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can I color on your dick again?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
