ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
