How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
