I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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