Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Two words: blizzard sex
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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