Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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