I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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