There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
