i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
