at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
