you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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