The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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