Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize