There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
