Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
