I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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