he wants to bone in the snuggie
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
