I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
