We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
