genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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