i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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