I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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