I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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