I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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