lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
