My room smells like vodka and shame
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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