So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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