whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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