I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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