I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she pinky promised me she was 18
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
