He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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