my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
