I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
