Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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