But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
